I Survived!

These past few weeks have really brought me down. I really won't tell why since it's very heavy for me to. But after all of those things that I've been through, still I say: I survived!

Yesterday was just a beginning of a great nightmare. It was the start of everything that I've really feared of. It would not be hell as you would imagine it, 'cause I assume I've been there-yesterday(sigh). With all those 'special equipments' ransacking and hurting me, I suppose to think what's yet to come might even be worst. Bringing such with me complicates hypothetically everything. I cried rivers of tears coupled with tons of thinking- what would it be like if I haven't done it? Would things ever change?  Will I be happy with it or not? Wooh, such things taunted me but at that very moment, I've seen no room for retreat.

Oh no! I didn't let this overcome me. If I ever did, I suppose I can't make enough things to live. So, after the happening yesterday, I simply groped with people around and likely acted as if nothing happened. I changed my views about the situation and instead thought optimistically. Making myself busy did a lot of help too. So what I did was play Plants vs. Zombies, read my unfinished book, ate my favorite cravings, watched television and the greatest help was praying- it means a lot.

Yes. I survived yesterday. I hope to see myself survive today and the many days to come. Life is all 'bout the matter of survival anyways. AJA!

Literal Scars

Bicycle. Tricycle. Motorcycle?

Yes, It was indeed an experience having to drive a motorcycle at the age of 19 in the neighborhood. Ideally, a car is much of great sense and achievement. Yet, learning to run a motorcycle would suffice.

Again and again, I was threatened by my fears. But as I saw my younger sister doing it effortlessly, I was humiliated and gave it a try. Afterwards, I just saw myself running it smoothly now with minimal fear after a few rounds of practice. And yes, I have earned scars as what first timers usually get.And it was actually worth it!

With more and more practice and with diminishing fear, I know I can run motorcycles everywhere, anytime even in busy streets and high ways. Oh, when will we have one?

P.S.
All materials and equipments for practice were borrowed. This included the motorcycle itself packed with the gasoline of course. And I really thanked those people who lent it to us.

why it is I am concerned

I keep on denying that I'm fine. The fact of denying itself means I'm weak- weak of telling the truth. The truth will ever set thou free. And even again, I keep on violating this golden rule. TRUTH.


Even before, my parents have always commanded a lot of things from me. Facing the reality that they're who made me live and who fed me from day 1 up to the present. I know that all parents does. And what others say is that what our parents have to do to us is what's best for us. And yeah, I hardly believe it. Everything for our betterment. The reality that they're those who had lived longer means that they're the ones who knows what's right doesn't count. What it's all up to is the respect we need to give them and the fact that they're our parents and they love us and they'll say what's nicest of us to do.


I have made my parent cry. Especially my mom. She doesn't deserve those tears. I know. Carrying me inside her womb for 9 months was no ordinary. It was a sign that she wanted me to see the world and how she loves me. She doesn't deserve that treatment for me. She has done great things and yet that's what she gets? What has become of me that I was able to made her cry real tears?Will I consider myself as a nice child then?


It is very unreasonable for us to talk back to our parents. It has been our tradition not to do such especially when they're angry. That would cause triple times the trouble.Being fidgety for the committed mistake then everything goes on a process. After all the pangasaba we receive, we need to keep quiet with a lot of thoughts running into our minds and secretly utter unpleasant words for the sake of rebound to what our parents have to say. If unfortunate enough, will suddenly throw anything that they see towards your face and would tell you pahawa sa akong atubangan. But then if you're fortunate, all you'll have are the repeating "words of wisdom for you to learn" and after a few moments will stay quiet. 


I'm not fine with it. I know I'm not. I have to feel guilty every time I do another  mistake. I haven't given my apologies yet making it more and more complicated. I can't just sleep everyday  making my parents feel so sick about me. So here's their deal. Once I get to have a serious job, settle by myself and have my own family, I will be what I define them to be and see myself greatly like them. Then, I would have to feel what it is they have to feel when my daughter has done the same mistake that I did. My deal therefore is to ask for forgiveness for being such a disobedient child. Then I'll try my best not to hurt their feelings anymore. I have to overcome the fear and weakness that I have in order to see what's the truth. The truth that they did everything to me for me and not to hurt me because I'm bad. 

some things SOO YOUNG ♥

최수영

-Choi Soo Young

-February 10, 1990

-Seoul, South Korea

-Girl's Generation member

-singer,actress,dancer,  radio DJ, model, rapper, TV presenter,  songwriter, idol

-sister: Choi Soo Jin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sooyoung


                 Sooyoung was not my first favorite upon knowing So Nyuh Shi Dae(SNSD). In fact, I really don't know her name, I don't really recognize her face and even take a close look on her photos with the rest of the group. All I really knew was Yoona, the face of SNSD.I was new with the group that's why all I knew was her. Then I began looking after their videos and found out their guestings. It was only after their David Letterman Performance, one of their world promotions wherein I started to appreciate the beauty in her. Her long straight hair with her navy blue suit  plus her long legs made her stand out and once again amazed millions of fans which I soon became one too. She may not be one of those really popular members of SNSD, may not be the best singer, the best dancer, the prettiest( I pretty doubt that she is),  but I really would identify her as my ultimate KPOP bias- girl's division. Well, it does make sense if I'd love her, right?

Soo Young's signature

our thing after school

well, school work has made me really sick and i can't help but make the most out of my leisure times. to start, i began 'dating' two of my close friends- Chinenn Daang and Aya Banaag. first stop was at Lim Ket Kai mall. we ate enough food to satisfy our hunger to prepare ourselves for the long day. we just realized that we don't have a lot to do in this mall since we just had to do window shoping- this seriously means we don't have enough money to buy things we'd like. so after a few rounds of wandering through the mall's vicinity, we decided to spend the rest of the day at Chinenn's house. we just found out that the whole company (Chinenn's family) was around. oh, thank God they left. it wouldn't make us comfortable when they're there to watch over us. so, after Aya demanding to watch Montecarlo, we did other things, a lot of other stuffs. Chinenn started playing her piano, Aya and I began singing and recording through ate Ayn's Macbook. there we took a number of photos and videos. when her family arrived, we actually ate once again and this time, the food was getting more and more tasty. i couldn't resist cakes and pancit. then sudddenly mom kept calling me. i knew she'll be telling me about how late i am in attending my elder sister's competition at school. ate Ayn (Chinenn's elder sister) and her "rumored'' boyfriend, if i can call it, drove us to our own destinations.


good thing i was able to see my sister's performance on stage. all else, my mom will really bug and will keep on annoying me. unfortunately, she didn't place even third. i sort of know the reason behind- she slept real late  the night before. and do ya know what she did? oh, she just played i-don't-know-what-it's-called-but-it-terribly-made-her-addicted computer game. mom then said a lot of things to her again. but she keeps on denying that it somehow is the reason for losing the competition. but we're sport though. we accepted that what's done is done. and there's nothing we could do but enjoy the rest of the day. we went to eat at Barkadahan. a lot of conversations were made there and we later realized that we're the last costumers. great!  all tired, we went home.


wooh! this summer days really excite me. but at the same time scares me. in a lot of ways actually. i just pray that i'll pass the past semester.


annyeong!

me-aya-chinenn